Finally done with the paperwork (almost)

Last week we cleared the final legal hurdle in Sophie's adoption, after about 3 years of paperwork.  We re-adopted her.  Sounds weird, but what it really amounts to is tying up the legal loose ends, the ability to get her an Arizona birth certificate, and a legal name change.  They send them home with their first name and the father's first name, so until now her legal name has been Tufah Jason Addink.  I thought it had a nice ring to it, but Paige disagreed.

Here's the picture of us with the judge.



Then we took a lovely family picture of all the kids.

Ugh.  They were horrible for this picture.  No one would still, and by the end we were all grumpy (including Mom and Dad.)

Sophie was also heartbroken when I told her she no longer got to share my name...

 

And tonight we got a letter saying that because of the adoption tax credit, the IRS is "holding your refund until we complete a more thorough review."  So I guess we aren't quite done with the paperwork yet...

348 Days

Last Easter we were getting on a plane for Ethiopia to pick up Sophie.  By the time we picked her up from the orphanage, she was three hundred forty seven days old.  Most of that time spent in an orphange.

This Easter marked her three hundred forty eighth day with us.  She has now been with us longer than she has been away.

How appropriate that this day landed on Easter...

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.  And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.   -Romans 8:20-25

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. -Ephesians 1:3-10

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. -Galatians 4:4-7

Becoming an Addink

One year ago today we attended court in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and the judge declared us the parents of Tufah!

 

Hi, I'm your mom now! Can you see how excited she is?

 

 

 

As you can see from Sophie's face, she was thrilled to become an Addink.

 

That day was filled with great joy, becuase we had passed court and she was "ours" forever. It was also filled with great sadness and trepidation. It was the last time we could be with our daughter until we were allowed to return two months later to bring her home. Happy Adoption Day Sophie! (I'll post new pictures tonight of our celebration.)

Today

Today, February 24, 2012, you are home right where you belong. We love you Sophie Joy Tufah! What an amazing gift you are, orchestrated by a loving Father. We could never have dreamed this big.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tufah

One year ago today we held you in our arms for the very first time.

 

 

 

 

 

One year ago

One year ago today we were flying across the Atlantic to meet you!

A long wait

One year ago today, on September 13th, we saw the face of our daughter for the very first time. It was an amazing moment when I saw her picture and knew that she was to be ours and we were to be hers. Oh what a good and glorious day when we first laid eyes on our Tufah.

Thank you God for the road that was laid before us, even as bumpy as it may have felt. Thank you for the amazing gift you have given us in Sophie Joy Tufah. Thank you God that she is home at last, right where we knew she belonged, the moment we first laid eyes on her.

Four months home

Hard to believe that a mere four months ago, on May 1st, we landed in Sky Harbor Airport with Sophie in our arms. What a thrilling moment to step off the plane and know that we were home and it was all finished. She is ours forever, and we are so thankful.

Since coming home Sophie has celebrated her birthday, learned to walk, sprouted 6 teeth, has grown two inches taller, gained five pounds, begun using English words (momma, dada, Ella, hi, bye-bye, up, no, mine, baby, nana (banana), uh-o, woof woof, quack quack, set - go), uses sign language to say: more, all done, bath, thank you, eat, milk, and drink, has become a much happier child all around, has traveled to Denver, Michigan, and Rocky Point, Mexico, loves to snuggle, gives big pucker lip kisses, has the worlds greatest giggle, learned how to remove her helmet without undoing the Velcro, learned how to undo her diaper by undoing the Velcro, loves anything water related, has had lactose (milk) and sucrose (sugar) removed from her diet, has been introduced to Cheetos thanks to her brothers, is now a happy stroller rider and is no longer allowed to be a mommy rider, will now happily walk bare foot in grass, has grown very fond of her buddy Luke, discovered the joy of putting her hands in the toilet at every opportunity, has eaten the tops off of several crayons, discovered her nose hole and anyone else's that will hold her close enough to reach, loves to play with baby dolls, feed them bottles, and pat them on the back, has learned that mommy does not like pinching, has a great love for phones and remotes, still sucks her thumb to go to sleep and has to hold a blankie as well, knows the Mexican hat dance and which way the ladies ride, loves to dance and clap to music, throws her sippy cup off her tray at any opportunity, has learned to feed her buddy Banjo the rest of her meal when she has finished, takes one 3 hr nap a day, has grown more curls in the back but is still lacking in the front, loves belly buttons and will lift other's shirts to find them, greets me with a "hi!" after each nap, and has found her way even deeper into all of our hearts.

Oh how we love our Sophie Joy Tufah, and are so blessed to have her as our child. It has been a busy, crazy, exhausting four months home. Sophie has come so far in understanding what it means to be in a family. What love looks like from a well meaning six year old brother's tackle hug. How to show love through kisses and snuggles. What discipline means, and how to react. There used to be so much crying for every. little. thing. Now, I can redirect, close a cupboard, or say no with out the full body flail, tears, snot, and sobs. Now, if you take away an iPhone that she swiped off the night stand, you might still get the flail, tears, snot, and sobs. The girl really likes her technology :).

We would do it all again to have the privilege of having Sophie in our home. The dreaded paper work, the excruciating wait, the travel, the bulging disks in my back, every last detail we would do again, in a heart beat, for the joy of being her family. God is so good!

Hooray for four months of being a family of seven!

Together for Adoption

We just got our tickets for this conference, which happens to be at our church this year.  If you are going, let us know!

And a re-post of this video... just because this post felt like it needed more...

The City of Addis - A short documentary from Session 7 Media on Vimeo.

Big critters

I was burning a bunch of photos to a CD tonight for some fellow adoptive parents of a girl from Harar, and ran across this video. Figured it would be fun to post it. Hard to believe this was only a few months ago. Feels like eons...

So how is is going?

The first question everyone asks is how is it going? Followed by how is Sophie adjusting? So here is my summary for all three of you out there wondering.

It's going great.

The first week provided the least amount of sleep as I tried to convince our daughter that day and night were now reversed. She eventually got the hang of it and I am very grateful. I already blogged about her pediatrician visit after three days home. Our pediatrician was very pleased with her overall health and growth. Today we had a follow up appointment and a one year well visit.

So after two weeks of being home Sophie had gained a pound, grown an inch longer, and her head grew another cm. My doctor just chuckled when she saw her growth curve go straight up in two weeks time. She might be a big girl after all, now that she is getting adequate nutrition. Time will tell.

All her medical reports from her blood work came back with good results. Her stool study came back with a diagnosis of giardia, which we already expected. We have been on meds for two full days now and the treatment lasts for five. The goal is for better intestinal health by killing the parasites, but I am here to tell you that today was by far the winner for nonstop blow out diapers! Disgusting! Let's hope we improve over the next three days.

Sleeping is going very well. She takes two naps a day for 2-3 hours each. She goes down with no fussing at all. Wakes up screaming and mommy comes running, so she has me trained well already. She goes down great at bedtime too, but still wakes for that middle of the night feeding she was accustomed to getting at Toukoul. She has skipped it a few times by herself, so I am hoping she will out grow it herself by getting more nutrition in the day and the reassurance that she will never go hungry. For now, when she cries at 2 am she gets a bottle. Thankfully she goes right back to sleep.

She is getting braver in her surroundings and can be found crawling through the house getting into all kids of things that siblings have left lay all over the place. She is still a bit wary of the dog, but every once in a while she will crawl up to Banjo and just touch her. She will pull herself up to play at her musical table, but mostly just crawls. She keeps a close eye on my proximity at all times and while she can be on one side of the room fine one moment, she will panic the next, bursting into tears, until I come and pick her up.

She loves to play with her daddy but does it better if I am not around. If I pass by she will cry and reach for me. She screams loudly and the tears come instantly. A faker at times, but she knows how to make her needs known. I wear her on my back in the Beco often, so that I can accomplish a few simple things around the house, or so my arms are free to hold Luke.

She really is adjusting to all these changes well. I feel so sad when I think that she has only been here two weeks and how foreign it must all feel to her. We are her fourth change of care that we know of in her first year of life. There was her birth mom, the orphanage in Harar, the Toukoul orphanage (who knows how many different care givers there in the course of 9 months) and now home with us.

That is a lot of change in 12 months of living.

The City of Addis

Thanks to our friends Adam and Sabrina, I ran across this video on their blog.  We didn't go to any of these places while we were there... but the sights are the same.  The goats, the kids in school uniforms, billions of blue Toyota vans, the crazy haired old men in the streets.  Is it weird that I felt like I missed it a little bit when I watched this?

The City of Addis - A short documentary from Session 7 Media on Vimeo.

The video is produced by the same guy who runs the Ethiopian Guest Home.  Obviously has a heart for Ethiopia and the people there, and we loved staying at his guest house.

We actually seem to have spent a huge portion of our time there like this.  It's the drive from the Toukoul Orphanage to the YGF Guest House on our first trip.  Sped up 8X.  Don't miss the guy at 29 seconds taking a leak against the wall.  Another very common sight in Ethiopia.

33 years old, mother of 5, ages 7 and under

Last Sunday was Mother's Day and I was still in a fog adjusting to time changes with Sophie and we had house guests. So it was not thee most relaxing Mother's Day, but I think it was by far the best.

Noah threw a terrible fit and missed out on lunch. My mom was/is out of the country so I couldn't talk to her on the phone, and I think Jason ended up leaving his mom a voice mail because he couldn't locate his mom either. My gift from Jason was a doctor bill for pink eye, since our doctor office is now out of network on our new insurance. (long story)

But all in all, it was the best Mother's Day thus far. This year I have five children to be thankful for. This year I am blown away at the blessings God has given me to parent. This year I want to freeze time and just stay right where we are forever. 7,5,5,3, and 1. That is one amazing line up. I would keep it this way if I could.

It is hard to believe that I have been a mom for seven years already. It was the greatest thing ever in my life when I became a mom and Jason and I took on new roles as parents. We were/are so in love with our sweet baby girl and loved being a little family. Ella was our first taste of God's plan for family.

Adding to our family was an easy decision. And while I was in shock at my ultra sound when the tech said there were "two little somethings", my husband shouted out with glee "Yes!". And we instantly had become a family of five. Levi and Noah were wonderful easy going babies, tumultuous toddlers, and are growing up into fun boys who constantly challenge me to live out the fruits of the Spirit. (Specifically patience and self control.)

Luke was the next addition three years later. He was a sweet answer to prayer to a very fear filled pregnancy following a miscarriage. I wasn't sure I could set myself up for pain of losing another child and was terrified the entire nine months. While most people responded with shock that we would be having another baby and that we were crazy for wanting four children, we new this baby was a sweet answer to prayer and a healing for our hearts. God sent the perfect addition to this family in the form of Luke Hendrik.

Perhaps since we had already crossed the societal norm of three children max, we should have been done growing our family. But that was not God's plan for our family and I am so very glad. Around the time that Luke was turning one, Jason and I began to seriously look into international adoption. Now almost a full two years later our Sophie Joy Tufah is home where she belongs.

She has been prayed for, loved, and wanted since before she was ever conceived. Only God could orchestrate her story and ours to become one family from two different sides of the globe. God is so good, and we are so blessed to welcome this child into our family.

I am not Sophie's first mother. There was someone else, whom we will never know, who loved her first. Who gave her life, and then chose another course of life for her. There was another mother who put her child's needs above her own heart and gave Sophie to us. There was another mother who is remembering birthing a beautiful baby girl one year ago and was only able to have her for a very short time. There is another mother with a piece of her heart missing.

If only there was a way to show that mother our hearts. To show her how we are bursting with love for her child. To let her know that we will cherish her forever. To somehow say thank you for the life she created.

God's plan for my family may look different than others, but I wouldn't change a thing. I am the mother of five children, each chosen by God to help refine me, as I humbly try to mother them. Thank you God that this Mother's Day you have entrusted five beautiful children to my care. Please give me the grace to honor you in my parenting.

We are home. An update by the wife, since my husband has gone nutty.

So it has been a few days home now and I have a few people in particular who keep pestering me about an update.  I made Jason take Sophie in for her lab work so my arms are free for a few minutes so I thought I would catch you all up.

I will start at the beginning and you can fast forward to what ever you are interested in.

The flight home:
The flight home was very long as we knew it would be.  Sophie and Ella both did very well considering the lack of sleep and disruption of any sleep they were attempting to get.  On both flights we were given bulkhead seating with a bassinet, so that was nice.  Sophie only spent about two hours in each.  The rest of the seven hour and nine hour flights she was climbing up and down me and all over me.  But, she did not scream or cry like I feared she may.  She did really, really well.  She kept busy charming any and every one who would walk by and stop to say hello. 

Arriving home:
We finally arrived at our destination a day after travels began.  We were greeted by our wonderful family and friends at the airport with balloons, posters, hugs, and well wishes.  It was so nice to have those there with us who have walked along beside us in this journey and have showered us in their prayers for months and months on end.  Seeing all their smiling faces when we arrived was wonderful.

Settling in:
Other than Sophie still being on ET time, life is going well as a family of seven.  Sophie is relaxing more and more each day and will crawl away from me to play with toys on the floor and will even allow Daddy to hold her for short periods of time.  She is sleeping next to me in a co-sleeper at night and wakes often to check to see if I am still there.  She will crawl into bed with me and snuggle for a bit and then I can shift her back into her co sleeper.  If only we can get over the 2 to 4 AM party with mom each night, the days would be so much nicer.  I love my Sophie dearly, but I would rather not spend so much one on one time together at that time of the night.  She has the option of taking naps during the day to recover from our late night play dates, me, not so much. 

Sophie eats like a champ.  All baby food, yogurt, cheerios, wagon wheels, puffs, noodles, rice, bread, this girl will chew it up and eat it all.  Its like she has been doing it for years!  Not to mention the bottles she is inhaling.  No trouble at all transitioning to American food and formula.

Doctoring:
We had a new patient check up yesterday to look over her medical files and form a plan of attack for life in America.  We have decided to repeat all vaccinations.  We are also running a battery of tests (via blood work) to check for all sorts of things that are typically done at newborn screenings.  And the joy of stool collection to check for parasites and the like. 

Our pediatrician says she does not feel that Sophie should have a doc band.  She said if we were a new patient just moved here from Ohio she wouldn't recommend it, nor would she since I am a worried mother of a baby who laid a lot in an orphanage crib.  She said the side was "not that flat" and should round out in that area now that she is upright and more mobile. 

It was obvious at the time of check out form the orphanage that Sophie had had chicken pox recently.  Her medical file indicated that she had them in March.  She has lots of scars all over her body that we hope will fade with time and Mederma.

She weighed in at 18.1 lbs., and developmentally was right on track.  She mimics our facial cues, crawls, pulls up, picks items up with a two finger pincer grip, self feeds, babbles, claps, waves.  The only thing she was lacking was teeth.  She only has four right now.  But then, there is a range for that too.  Our pediatrician would like to see her again in two weeks for her one year well visit and we can go over lab results at that time too.  Our doctor was thrilled at her overall well being. 

Siblings:
The three big kids really love their new baby sister.  They are constantly bringing toys over to her, asking to hold her on their laps, and checking where she is.  Luke is still trying to find his place in this new family setup.  Sophie has only been home for four days, so it will take time for his little heart and mind to process that he has not been replaced.  Mommy's arms are now very busy with someone else and this is a BIG change for my snuggle bug.  Wearing Sophie on my back still allows me to hold my 38 lb 3 year old.  I tried to talk to Luke about Sophie last night and he informed me that he loved her, but he was crabby because he was not getting enough sleep.  You and I both buddy!

Letting it all hang out

Now that we aren't under the thumb of our adoption agency, and we won't be yelled at and threatened for saying online that we got a referral, this blog is going back public again.  At some point in the future I will try to go back through all the posts and tag the adoption related ones for any blog stalkers who run across this blog.  I'll probably turn comment approval back on as well, just so I can filter out any riff raff.

Welcome to 'Merica

[The following post requires reading it with a redneck hilbilly accent, in the manor of my good buddy Jonathan.]

We 'rived home on Sunday night after 20 some hours on them aero-planes. Back to 'Merica, where we cling to our guns and religion. Land of the free. Home of the brave. Country of abundant bacon!

Land where George Washington slayed the zombie hordes of evil King George!

Land where Abraham Lincoln rode grizzly bears into battle to free the slaves!

Land where Teddy Roosevelt cleared the west of sasquatch to make it safe for civilization!

(I want all three of those posters)

Land where dad flies flags on your first day in 'Merica (at least until that nasty HOA writes him up.)

Land where your brand new brother feeds you all 'Merican food like Cheetos.

Welcome to 'Merica baby girl!

Headed for home

After all this time. After all the prayers. After all the hoping, wishing, dreaming, praying, crying, and wondering if and when. It's hard to believe we are finally at this point. Hard to believe we are finally headed for the United States with Sophie Joy in our arms!

Pray for safe travels and peace for the newest addition. She should be fine as long as she is in my arms clawing frantically at my neck. But it's going to be a long 24 hours of travel. And did I mention this girl can really cry?

Seriously thee loudest child I have ever had. And instant flowing tears too. So pray for those sitting near us as well.

For those who were interested in meeting us at the airport to celebrate her home-coming we are planning on arriving in Phoenix on Sunday night (May 1) at 7:53 pm. We should be in terminal 2 arriving on United flight 329 from Denver.

Ella can't wait to get back home and have some angel hair pasta! :) She has been a good trooper throughout, but is missing home and eating food she is used to. And I think we are all looking forward to our nice soft beds!

See you "soon"!

The complete Addink party of 7

Addis at night

The view from our room.

The room also happens to be right under the flightpath of the incoming jets.