Shhhhhhh... don't report me!

If the gov't nannies over at the Arizona Department of Over-Protecting Other Peoples Children (AzDOPOPC) ever got wind of this, their heads would explode. Even my mom was, as she described it, a "nervous nellie." See what the expectation of cradle-to-grave gov't protection has done to society? Robbed all the fun out of life...

Not around our house though...


Since the only emails I have gotten from craigslist on the old couches have been from people trying to scam me, we hauled them off to Goodwill today. Grandma came over and helped me load them into the van, then we all went for the best car ride ever. A couch in the back of a minivan is definitely the way to travel. The kids all agreed that they wanted to ride a couch all the way to Michigan for the road trip next summer!

Adventures with dad - Day 2

Approximately 9 AM this morning...

Me: Ella, what should we have for breakfast?
Ella: Hmmmmmmm... Spaghettios?

For the record, we had a bagel (Noah), PB&J (Levi), jelly toast (Ella), and apples all around.

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We headed out to Target and Home Depot, with the Veggie Tales CD blasting in the newly repaired CD player. On the way, we stopped for gas. The local gas station appears to believe that I don't get exposed to enough TV, particularly advertisements...


The volume on this thing was deafening, you can't change the channel, it's about 2 feet from your face when pumping. I can't think of a more aggravating thing to do to a gas pump (aside from plastering it with stickers warning you not to use your cell phone.) The gas pump is one of the few places where I get a few quiet minutes to myself. Now I've got a TV blaring away at me.

I went into the store and complained to the manager, it was that annoying. Amazingly, he actually seemed thankful. Even shook my hand. He said "corporate" was putting them in over in California, and wanted to try them out here. He said that he couldn't use his intercom any more, because customers can't hear him over the TVs. Maybe he thinks they are as dumb as I do, but didn't have any evidence that customers hated them.

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On the way to Target, Levi was pulling on his ear. I asked him if it hurt. "Yes." Uh oh. After Home Depot, we headed home and called the pediatrician to make an appointment. After scarfing down a quick lunch (Spaghettios!) we headed to the doctor. Sure enough, he has an ear infection.

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After the 10 minute nap on the way to the doctor, afternoon naps didn't happen once we got home. The kids played most of the afternoon while I cleaned. Then we ate some chicken nuggets and strawberries for lunch and went for a bike ride around the block. Then baths and bedtime.

As if leaving me with the kids wasn't work enough, Paige also left me with a honey-do list. Unbelievable. Like I am going to have the time to wrangle the kids AND fix things around the house. Just how competent does she think I am? ;)

So after the kids hit the sheets, I started on the list. No point in straining myself, so I started off easy...
Hanging a sign on the existing hook on the screen door... not too difficult.

Hung up this giant star that Paige picked up at a garage sale. I also finally hung up the small quilt that Mrs. Bakker made us.

And since Paige will read this in Michigan and wonder where I moved her sign that was hanging on this wall... it's right here honey.
I am sure this will all have to be re-arranged once Paige gets home. ;)

I hung up the grocery bag holder thing. We've only had it floating around the pantry since we moved in three years ago.

Added the top shelf that Paige wanted.

And as an added bonus, I discovered that if the Great Depression II really does hit on Monday, at least I know we won't be going hungry.

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Tomorrow... winter grass. The highs this weekend are supposed to be in the 70s! (for anyone not from AZ, that is cause for major excitement around here.) Gotta get that seed down!

Why do people keep finding this picture?

All of a sudden, a couple of weeks ago, people started finding this picture in Google image searches. It averages probably one person a day, who lands on this post, after finding the picture above in Google images. I don't get it. What on earth are they searching for?

Unfortunately Sitemeter tells how they found our blog, and what image, but not the exact search terms they used.

Weird...

Thirty seven cents

All because the boy thinks the car stereo is a vending machine.

Adventures with dad

I had the same dream over and over last night. All the kids escaped from the house while I was sleeping, and weren't in their beds. I must have woken up 10 times last night, trying to figure out if I had just been dreaming, or if the kids really had gone AWOL. At 3:34 AM, I suddenly awoke to Ella a few inches away from my face.

"Dad! Dad!"

I awake in the middle of the "kids gone missing dream," sure that Ella is going to tell me Levi and Noah were not in their beds.

"I can't find my blankie!"

Sheesh. It was tucked safely under her covers, right next to the warm spot in her bed where she had been sleeping.

After that night of rest, we woke up to the garbage man around 7 AM. After a breakfast of bagels (Ella pronounces the first syllable like "bag," not "bay." It's hilarious) we scrubbed the spots on the old couch in case we had any bites on the craigslist ad. Then we called up Aunt Gina and made plans to meet at the Children's Museum.

Anxiously awaiting Gina's arrival.


The anticipation was palpable.


Noah turning the engine crank.


Levi, Noah, and Ella on the motorcycle.


The ball room was by far their favorite. They had tons of fun putting the balls in the top of the tracks and tunnels, and watching them race down. I am frankly surprised that full scale 5 year old riots don't break out in that room, as much as those kids are all jockeying for position to put the next ball down the track...




Their next favorite activity was riding the tricycles through the tunnel and "car wash."




After the excitement of the museum, they were pooped. This doesn't bode well for the likelihood of taking actual afternoon naps.

We headed up to Grandma's house to try to squeeze in one last day of swimming. The pool was a chilly 78°, not exactly warm. But a cold pool wasn't about to chill their excitement for hitting the pool. They swam until they were shivering and couldn't take it anymore.

Then of course, skipped afternoon naps.

Later in the day, Grandma thought she would try to pull a fast one on me. She has been mumbling for a while now that our kids should play some computer game, and that maybe they should even have their own computer. I think she is afraid that we will try to keep them ignorant of the computer as long as possible (true), that they will start off Kindergarten horribly behind their classmates in computer skills, will continue to fall farther and farther behind, and will end up flipping burgers in McDonalds the rest of their lives. All because their over-protective parents wanted to limit their computer exposure.

So Grandma snuck off while I wasn't looking...


Like I am not going to figure out that she is trying to get them hooked on the game at her house, so that they will ask to play it at our house, and we will give in and let them do it. Reeeeeeally subtle mom!


Eventually Noah got bored with the computer and wandered away to stuff his face with monkeybread as fast as his little greedy hands could shovel it into his mouth.

Then we made the long trek home. All three were out cold within the first 10 minutes of the car ride. Amazingly, I managed to get them all transferred up to their beds and tucked in without any of them even opening their eyes. They all appear to be sleeping soundly now.

Tomorrow we are just planning to take it easy and work on some projects around the house.

PS: I did get one guy who seems interested in the couch. He is sending me a certified check, and then I cash it, take my payment, and send the remaining cash to the shipping company he specified so they can pick up the couch. Oh, and his son is having a kidney transplant, which is why he can't come and view the couch in person. I told him to please send the check, and I would be more than happy to pay the shipping company for him. We'll see how long I can string this scammer along for. How dumb does he think I am?

And the weekend starts on... Thursday?

Paige and Luke headed out this weekend to meet our new nephew Max. Which means she abandoned me… gave me a long weekend of bonding with the other three. So I am babysitting… parenting from now until next Monday. It could be a total disaster… lovely weekend!

All kidding aside, we should have lots of fun. Paige always says I am nuts and I load up all the kids and take them places. Which is true (on both counts.) Tomorrow we are meeting up with Aunt Gina and heading to the Children’s Museum. I have no idea what is in store for the rest of the weekend. But I hope that someday the kids have fond memories of when mom left for the weekend, and dad got to wing it as a single parent.

Now on to some assorted tidbits from the last few days:

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My Uncle Roger and Aunt Alice came over for dinner last night. The kids, after an initial bit of shyness, warmed right up to them. Uncle Roger even volunteered to read them a book, which they loved.

Paige and I both commented just before hitting the pillows that we were stunned at how well our kids behaved at dinner. They sat still (mostly), ate their food without complaining (mostly), even asked to be excused without prompting (mostly.) Of course, Roger and Alice probably drove back home talking about how stunned they were at our kids’ behavior… but not in the good sense. It’s all a matter of perspective I guess.

I wish we could see Roger and Alice more often, as they are more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

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This was how we found Levi and Noah last night. They started out in separate beds. Too cute…

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Paige sent me this in an email today, titled “Where do they learn gender issues?”

Noah: It’s okay for you to cry Ella, you are a girl.
Ella: You can cry too and you're a boy.
Noah: Yeah, I cry when I get spankin’s, and I scream and cry when I go to time out.

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We headed to the grocery story tonight to pick up some supplies for while Paige is gone. Being the nutrition sensitive father that I am, I think we did a good job selecting items from each of the five major food groups…

What? Otter pops, Spaghettios, chicken strips, frozen pizza, and chocolate milk all occupy a significant and important place on any food pyramid…

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Paige somehow railroaded… convinced me to spend our birthday cash on a new (to us) couch. She has been scouring Craigslist for a good deal. So I made arrangements and picked this one up tonight. Our old couches were starting to show their age, and the cotton fabric was not easy to clean, especially with little kids around. The ground in cheerios, old milk stains, dried boogers, and “dad fell asleep on the couch and sweated too much in his sleep” odors had finally reached the tipping point.

Of course, we didn’t get rid of the kids, or the sweaty dad… so hopefully this one cleans up a little better than the last ones.

Paige said that since she spent the money that “she” made selling our possessions at the garage sale (which I argued should be half mine,) she would allow me to sit on the couch and put my feet up. There was also something in there about this being a comfortable couch from which to watch the election results in a few weeks. The woman knows how to motivate me.

I gave it a try tonight, and attempted, for a second time, to watch the presidential debate from last night. I promptly dozed off, again for the second time. What a snoozer of a debate! At least the “dad fell asleep on the couch sweat” appears to have left behind no stain…

On a semi related note, if anyone is in the market for a sofa and loveseat, with only slight normal wear and tear from 8 years of loving use, I know where you could pick some up cheap… ;)

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I took the van to pick up the couch this afternoon. Mysteriously, the radio no longer works. It turns on, but no sound comes out of the speakers. I asked Aunt Angie about it. She was babysitting today. She said it was working fine, then they went over a bump, and it suddenly stopped working. So I played a hunch…

Me: Levi and Noah, did you put any money in the radio?
Levi: No.
Noah: No.
Levi: No, I put dimes in the radio! [emphasis on the ‘dimes’]
Me: So you did put money in the radio?
Levi: No, I put diiiiiiiiiiiimes.

Sheesh. Guess I get to take apart the van radio, again. At least I am getting faster with practice. There is something about combining a CD slot and loose change that is irresistible to little boys.

The brothers

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmm-berrrrrrrrr!

The saga of the porch continues

Remember the back porch that took 18 weeks to finally get installed? We thought the disaster was finally behind us once the thing was actually put up.

Not so.

Unfortunately, we have an HOA. I hate HOA's. Loathe them. They are nothing more than a device for a bunch of nannying busybodies to nose around in other people's business and enforce their version of an "ideal community" on the rest of us poor saps. Sorry, but my "community values" don't include seeking the approval of the mighty HOA before I make an improvement to property that I pay the mortgage on. It's creeping totalitarianism.

So we got a letter today that our porch did not pass the HOA inspection, and must be repainted "Desert Sand" in order to pass muster. Only problem... the porch already IS Desert Sand. That was the color we chose, had approved by the HOA itself, and had installed. Geniuses...

The HOA has no way to verify what color the porch actually is. Unless they figured out which porch company we used, managed to get a color sample from them, and then compared it to our actual porch... which I doubt. We don't know if they actually broke into our back yard to inspect it, or just looked at the picture we sent them (above) with the final approval letter.

Either way, they obviously don't know that the porch is already the exact color that they approved. But they still sent a letter telling us to repaint it. Which means, my guess is that they saw the porch, realized that it didn't match the color of the body of the house, and it offended their delicate sense of the "community color palette." So now they think they can tell us to repaint it, because they don't approve of the color that they approved?

Uh huh... sure...

They've seen a bit to much around here...

Noah: Horsie! There is your mother!
Levi: Neighhhh!
Noah: Would you like a drink of milk from my bosom?"
Levi: Neighhhh! [nodding his head yes]

Palin Syrah, with Sarah Palin

(This post is tape delayed by approximately 3 hours)

The evening I have been anticipating since the Republican National Convention has arrived. The Vice-Presidential debate! As a friend at work said, "This is your Superbowl, isn't it?" Yup! I could care less about sports, but I am glued to politics. Or as Paige might define it... "obsessed."

Last week I read an article on a w(h)ine bar in San Francisco. Their best selling wine was "Palin Syrah," at least until McCain announced his VP pick. The snooty SF liberals wouldn't drink it, because it was too similar Sarah Palin's name. Not to fear though, Republicans picked up the slack and ordered the stuff by the case. Including me, mainly because it sounded like a good excuse to try some wine. I've acquired the taste for coffee now ("acquired" being another description for "fairly addicted to the stuff.") If I acquire the taste for wine, my transformation to full-grown adult will be complete. Sort of.

Anyways, I ordered two bottles of the stuff, even though I don't really like wine. Figured I would try some on debate night. I talked to the guys at North Berkeley Imports about their sales. They said they didn't really notice a dip in sales after the VP announcement, but saw a large upswing in sales after the article above started to make its way around the web. Darn vast right wing conspiracy.

So tonight, after we get the kids in bed, I will fire up the VCR and see just how Sarah Palin does. I'm hoping she will blow Biden out of the water (aka convention speech)... but it also has the possibility of being less than stellar (aka Katie Couric interviews.)



Either way, the bottle might get polished off tonight... either in celebration, or to drown my miseries. That Palin Syrah ain't half bad. Let's hope Sarah Palin is just as good...

PS: I better lay off the wine prior to the debate. I guess I am a cheap date. I've had two glasses already. One more, and I might be watching Palin and Biden debate their doubles!

Rub-a-dub-dub, there's 4 in the tub!

Almost got all four looking at the camera.


Ella is a good big sister! Hold on tight, he's slippery!

I think Luke's face in this picture says it all. Time to get out!

Sweet Baby Luke

Luke has been sleeping for a good 8 hours at night, before needing to eat again, since he was 2 and a half months old. Tomorrow he will be five months old and he blessed me with a gift last night. ELEVEN hours! Count them folks. ELEVEN! Went to bed at 8 pm and I didn't hear from him again until 7 am! What a good boy! I would have enjoyed my first uninterrupted night of sleep in five months too, if one of my three year old angels hadn't had his own melt down at 2 am because his sippy no longer had ice in it and I refused to go get him some. (I'm really not that cold hearted, just not a routine I want to begin at 2 am.)


So here he is all snuggled in for bed tonight. Let's hope he has a repeat of last night and Noah doesnt. :)

*And for the record, I know it is not safe for babies to sleep with blankets in their crib, but this is how Luke wants to sleep. He needs a blankie in both arms to snuggle with during the night. Unfortunately the blanket I bought for him to be his "lovey" weighs about 80 pounds and is sweltering hot. (Postpartum brain, not always the best for making decisions with) So he lays on top of it now. I am just afraid that he is going to be attached to the white blankies he cuddles with instead. And if Luke loves his blankie the way our other kids love their blankets, white is not going to be a good color to start with. Ah! An excuse to go shopping! :) Maybe next week when Luke and I fly to GR to meet Max we will have to hit the malls!