Winter wonderland

It's hard to believe this is actually what Phoenix looked like today...

Or at least, one small part of it...

(I know, I know... I heard the groan of all the Michigan relatives all the way over here. But this is what passes for "snow" in Phoenix.)

Aunt Gina is kind of mean...

That's a snowball to Levi's face, courtesy of Aunt Gina, and a snow bath for Noah...

They caught on quick though, and started whipping snowballs at me...

I managed to catch Ella's grin after she snuck up behind me and beaned be with the last snowball of the fight...

Santa in the park

Our HOA invited Santa to stop by the park. We arrived back at home from my company Christmas party just in time to jump in the back of the line and see him.

At first none of the kids would get within arms reach of the old guy. The also kept asking me why Santa was wearing sunglasses.

They finally were convinced to at least go stand by him and smile. No one was brave enough to actually sit on his lap though.

When we got back to the house and Paige asked how it went, Ella said, in a dreamy voice:

"Mom, he was sooo beautiful!"

Just trying to butter him up, I think...

Ummmm, I think the eggs are done

Alternate post title: I think my wife might be trying to kill me

Paige ran out tonight to get something from the store, leaving me to tuck all the kids in bed. As we were finishing up our pre-bedtime game of Uno, I thought I got a vague whiff of something burning. Like hair, with maybe a slight sulfurish tint. My sniffer doesn't work so well though, so I figured I was imagination.

I should have paid better attention. A childhood of burning every imaginable substance under the sun may have utterly destroyed my sniffer. Oddly enough though, the one smell I still can detect fairly easily is smoke. And I can usually identify the substance producing it.

After tucking the kids in to bed, I walked back out to the living room. Odd, I thought I smelled it again. It did smell like wood smoke outside when I got home from work, but this wasn't quite the same odor.

Hmmmm, maybe Paige blew out a candle as she left the house.

After getting Ella a glass of water, I was walking back out to the living room.

From downstairs, I hear "BANG!"

Very odd. I head quickly downstairs, alert for any possible home intruders (hey, you never know!)

The smell of smoke is much stronger. Not good. Maybe the intruder lit the house on fire to smoke me out?

I found this instead...

Literally as I am typing this post, the phone rings. The caller ID says "Gymboree Store," where Paige was headed.

"Ummm, I left a burner on. I realized it on the way to the store, but I don't have my cell phone."

Yeah, so I discovered...

Dual monitors are great

I've sort of a vagabond at work lately. I've got a cube, but now I also have a semi-tempoary desk back in our medical area. Or at least I share it with the contract guy who is occassionally there.

My cube only has one monitor. My vagabond desk has two.

So my first task was to set up appropriate desktop backgrounds...



Awesome!

Now if only I could come up with a screen saver that made them blink occasionally.

I've got a problem...

That is my night stand. And the stack of books in my reading queue. Approximately 9 inches worth. And that doesn't include the ones that have migrated into the third drawer down, by virtue of being less interesting.

And yet, our pastor mentions the Christmas book pack for sale at the bookstore, with Tim Keller's Counterfeit Gods... and I am compelled to purchase the whole book pack.

I just can't help myself...

Not to mention the 215 items in my Amazon wish list.

Sheesh. I need a second me just to read all the books I would like to read.



And for what it's worth, our pastor's latest sermon series, "The Greatest Gift," has been very good so far (click here and then find the series in the "series" drop down box.)

Was I this gross as a little boy?

Thought 1: Hmmmm, there is a duece in the toilet... and no TP.

Thought 2: And there are little boy undies laying on the floor... and not on the little boy.

Thought 3: I wonder what, exactly, he sat on next? On second thought, maybe I don't want to know...


I was instructed by Paige (after she exclaimed "WHY IS THERE A PICTURE OF POO ON OUR COMPUTER!!!!") that under no circumstances was I to post photos of actual doody on our blog. Furthermore, under no circumstances was I to post even a picture of our toilet, as she would be mortified if people saw the just how dirty it was.

Ummmmm, we have two little boys. Who apparently aren't exactly sure what the roll of white tissue over on the right there is for. And who don't have the best aim in the world. Our toilets aren't exactly what you would call pristine.

But to preserve my wife's dignity, I've duly edited the photo to hide any inappropriateness...


And I suppose I know the answer to the post title, given the fact that I actually went and took a picture of this... and then posted it on our blog...

Just like grandpa used to wear...

WWII-ish Bomber jacket, complete with cool patches? Check!

Fuzzy fleece camo hat to keep your ears warm at altitude? Check!



Ummmm, angry war face, green reindeer pajama pants, and blue foam shoes?? Check!



Uhhhhhh, day-glo orange PJ pants and green rubber dragon rain-boots? Check!



Pretty sure that was standard issue attire in grandpa's day, right?

You'd think it was cold down here in Arizona or something...



And this one, just because it made me laugh. I don't think he was peeing off the porch, but I am also not entirely sure why he was needing to pull his pants up...

Goin' green

"Hey Dad, what's that over in the corner?"

"Well honey, it's a compost bin! Your Mom found out the city of Gilbert gives them away for free. You know, to save the earth and all. And being a good Dutchwoman, she couldn't pass up something free! Especially with all the compost we go through around here."

"What's a compost bin do Dad?"

"I've got no idea kiddo. I grew up in the city. Apparently you throw your garbage in it."

"And then what Dad?"

"Umm, apparently, your garbage turns into dirt! And then you put the dirt in your garden. Look at that lovely garbage in there! I can see it composting right before our very eyes!"

Ok, seriously. Paige really did get us a compost bin. For free. What we are going to do with compost, I have no clue. She is excited though. We now buy groceries at a co-op, and apparently have begun composting. Pretty soon we will be weaving our own hemp clothing, and using re-usable cloth toilet wipes (They do exist. Really. Look it up. Or on second though... probably don't want to.)

As Noah explained to me, the triangular arrow symbol on the lid "means you can recycle in there."

Grrrr. If we get any greener around here, I am going to go out and start the van, and let it idle... just because. If only it didn't cost like $70 to fill that thing up...

Road trip

So we sold the ol' minivan. Found this real sucker to unload it on.

Unfortunately, I had to drive it all the way to Michigan to deliver it to Paige's sister and brother-in-law.

And by "unfortunately," I really mean "three days all by my lonesome in a car and then a few more days mostly by myself to read books? I think this is as close to heaven on earth as I will get..."

So yeah, I hopped in the car the day after Thanksgiving and left for Michigan (after stopping for a wake up Dutch Bros coffee, of course.) And because my wife is a super-worry-wart, I texted updates and pictures along the way:

11/27 7:26: Payson... brrrrr!!!

11/27 10:09:

[I saw this somewhere in New Mexico. Apparently some paint truck exploded on the highway here...]

11/27 16:02:

[Paige texted back "slow down in that state :)" She speaks from experience, if you know what I mean.]

11/27 16:49: Stopping for dinner [in Amarillo. Can you read that sign?]

11/27 17:32: Now I'm really stopping for dinner

[FYI, if you ever stop at the Dairy Queen approximately 40 minutes east of Amarillo... don't. Fries and a hamburger took approximately 20 minutes to make. After I waited the first 20 minutes for them to make three shakes for the guy ahead of me. Wow. Good thing I wanted to get out and stretch my legs anyways...]

11/27 18:08: Did I leave my pocket knife at home?

11/27 19:03: Ok-lahoma!

11/27 20:50: Rest stop about 40 miles west of OK City. Nighty-night!

[This was my bed for the night. A sleeping bag rolled out in the back of the van. Worked great, and super cheap for a Dutchman.]

11/28 6:34: On the road again!

Paige, 8:20: I hope you are drinking LOTS of coffee! How did you fare last night?

11/28 10:33: Great! My bed was comfy and warm, and no zombies tried to gain entrance to my vehicle.

Paige, 10:38: Why are you not responding!?!

11/28 10:40: I just did! Panicky wife! ;)

11/28 11:15:

11/28 13:22: Singing my way through Missoura

11/28 15:48: Lovely sunset in the land of the free

11/28 15:52: Crossing the bridge into Obamaland. Disarmed. Ughh.

Paige, 18:50: Dude are you to Chicago by now? You are gonna do this in two arent you? :) Tell me where you are, I like to check the map and see your progress. LOVE YOU!

11/28, 18:52: Lexington exit 178. Still feelin good. 2 days might be a stretch though.

Paige, 19:09: Just looked it up on Mapquest and you are 4 hours and 26 min away!

11/28 19:18: That's a long 4 hours though. I'm already popping Pepcid, so I don't dare drink more coffee...

11/28 20:16: Ughhhh, this place reeks! [I was in Chicago.]

11/28 20:46: FREEEEEEEEEDOM!!! [I actually yelled it Braveheart style upon leaving Illinois]

[I also managed to make it through that entire state without spending a dime. No purchase of gas or food. I did, however, manage to leave a "deposit" at one of their rest stops...]

11/28 21:56: 1 mile into the holy land and my head is killing me. Popped a migraine pill and am stopped at the MI welcome center for the night. 37 degrees out right now. Could be chilly!

11/29 6:36: Ahhhh, the holy land. 1700 miles of clear sunny blue skies... And then Michigan! ;)

11/29 8:00:

11/29 8:43: [At the in-laws]

In all, a totally uneventful trip. I listened to yelling preachers, bluegrass, 8 hours of a John Adams book on tape (only 1/4 of the way though it!), and got hourly updates on Tiger Wood's crash every time I turned on the news. Frankly, the drive was easier by myself than it usually is with two drivers. Of course, with two drivers we also have four kids and a dog along.

Once in Michigan, I pretty much just sat around and read all day. And played with my nephews. For getting a new set of wheels, Max sure was a cranky little bugger. Just look at the evil faces he made at me:

Ok, Ok, so I might have encouraged him, much to the dismay of his mother. But his Grandpa started it!

I also sat out in the blind Sunday night, Monday morning, and Monday night while Paige's dad walked the woods trying to scare Bambi towards me.

See all the deer out there? Yeah... neither did I.

I think my brother-in-law and his brother's did a decent job of scaring every last deer out of there before I showed up. Oh well...

Then on Wednesday I headed to the airport for my flight back home...

11/29 8:00: The green "revolution?" It might have been "eco" but it was anything but "soft." Youch!!

[Nothing in this post should be construed in any way to condone texting while driving. All traffic and safety laws were obeyed during all portions of this post. Including Illinois' ridiculous gun laws.]

Please help the world...

Otherwise known as "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little."

Seriously? I'm not even sure what to say. This is the conference, keep in mind, where the delegates are using 1200 limos and 140 private jets for transportation. All to protest people driving and flying too much. And I wonder if the "scientists" from the CRU will be there? You know the guys... who fudged data, deleted the original measurements, tried to get people who disagreed with them fired, and attempted to warp the peer review process to prevent dissent. Probably giving a speech at this Copenhagen thing or something.

And Paige wonders why I blow a gasket when our kids come home from school parroting some "reduce, reuse, recycle" lesson...