Who's your daddy?

So much wrong with this picture...


I mean, seriously. Would this be you first choice for a paternity test? The company who's technological savy consists of a hand spray-painted sign? Stuck in the gravel on a busy Gilbert intersection? Are they doing this testing from their garage? With a DNA testing kit built from $5 plans from the back of Popular Science?

Assuming, of course, that on your Saturday morning drive to the local Dunkin Donuts, you fly past this sign and think "Ah ha! Just what I was looking for!"

Our neighborhood must really be going downhill...

"At least now I know someone isn't trying to kill me."

It started with a video blog post...

Shane contemplates uses of those annoying musical greeting cards...

One of those uses, suggested near the end of the video (4:20), somewhat casually, was a coat covered in the musical speakers, all rigged to play at once. He then said he would wear the coat to the grocery store, food court, Best Buy, etc and have someone film passerby's reactions.

Shane asks as the end... "Crazy? Yes. Possible? I don't know. You tell me."

Now, I don't know how much traffic Shane's blog gets. I would guess substantially more than this one. I am sure at the time he thought it was just a goofy off the cuff video blog. I don't think he suspected that someone would actually do what he suggested. However, the seed was planted.

Ebay. You can buy anything on Ebay. Including a box of highly annoying musical greeting cards, for dirt cheap...

Pretty easy to rip them all open and remove the speakers and circuit boards...

And then cut the speakers off of each board...

Borrow a soldering iron and some tools from work for an evening...

And then combine 16 of those little circuit boards into one big one...

Now for some type of jacket. Goodwill down the street is perfect for this sort of thing. I discovered a red size 24 prom dress there once. Turns out I fit perfectly into a size 24 dress. And look pretty dang good, if I do say so myself. But for Shane, well... I don't really know his dress size. They had suitcoats there, various faux leather jackets... ah ha! The classic flasher trenchcoat. Perfect!

Poke some holes in the front and tape down all those speakers and the extended wires. It even had an interior liner to hide all the wiring!

Sew the circuit board into the back of the coat. Run the battery disconnect wires over to the pocket, with a simple on/off switch.

Wala! A musical coat...

Now, how to disguise those speakers, so that other shoppers don't suspect the slightly crazed looking fellow with the long flasher trenchcoat, being followed by a camera crew. I know just the ticket... political campaign buttons. He'll blend right in! So I did a little googling and came up with a random assortment of political buttons, and printed them out on a 4x6 photo.

Now, I'll just apply them to the front of the speakers. By totally random chance, I ended up with approximately an even split between left and right wingers. So naturally, the right side of the jacket received one flavor, while the left received the other.

Now, I should point out that it is purely coincidence that the campaign button for one Barack Obama ended up directly below a button with the phrase "Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?" Purely coincidence...

Now I just need to box it up. But one more little trick... another musical card in the bottom of the box, with a card tied to the coat. As the coat is pulled out of the box, the musical card starts playing...

Now, this process took several months. I wasn't in a big hurry. But I soon realized that the prime practical joke day of the entire year was fast approaching. So the finishing touches were completed on Monday, with a plan to mail it out Tuesday, for arrival on Wednesday. But Tuesday was a long, busy day at work, and it wasn't until about 8 PM that I left work and realized I never mailed it.

They say necessity is the mother of invention. Or inspiration...

At slightly before 1 AM, the following pictures were emailed to Shane, in this order, from an anonymous email I created on our Cox account...

The photos were taken, of course, on the journey to Shane's house to hand "deliver" the package. I had his address, thanks to an anonymous cousin of his who went to our same high school, so I knew where to go.

At approximately 7 AM the next morning, the following was waiting in my inbox on Facebook...

"Subject: Check Your Head(ers)

from Addink ([71.222.79.218]) by fed2rmimao08.cox.net with bizsmtp id a7u01b007afndfa047u0yz; Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:54:13 -0400"

etc etc a bunch more header numbers etc

In the words of the great Homer Simpson... DOH!!


Followed by an email saying

"At least now I know someone isn't trying to kill me. I still haven't opened it."

Paige asked me why on earth I was devoting so much time and energy to a practical joke on a guy have seen all of once since his high school graduation 11 years ago. Because of all the people I have met, Shane is the one who would most appreciate the absurdity of an elaborate practical joke, totally out of the blue, based on a silly video blog that he had no idea someone would actually take seriously.

Shane's final email of the day, after opening the box, successfully tripping the musical booby trap, and discovering that those aren't just political buttons on the front...

"I seriously can't believe this. I've checked it out thoroughly and I am blown away. You even made an Abco Pimps button.

This sets the bar really high.

I have a huge grin right now."

And that was my only goal...

And Shane... I expect video footage... ;)

Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga!

So I always have big plans for April Fool's, but never the motivation to actually pull something big off. I did, however, manage a very small prank this year.

This is the inside of the front door at work. It's one of those musical birthday cards, that I modified so the door would turn in on and off...

So tomorrow morning, everyone who walks in the front door will be greeted by the stirring vocals of Gloria Estefan...

Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga
I know you can't control yourself any longer
Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga
I know you can't control yourself any longer

Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga
I know you can't control yourself any longer
Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger
Don't you fight it 'til you tried it, do that conga beat

(I've got one more, much more elaborate prank as well, but I shouldn't say anything until I know that the victim... I mean... special recipient, gets his package. Just in case he would happen to see this.)

Men... get yelled at!

For any men who actually read this blog, find a spare hour, and be challenged to be better than No Sissy Stuff Sam or Sturdy Oak Owen. A man less like Adam, and more like Jesus. And be prepared to get yelled at by Mark Driscoll...



Link to video page at Mars Hill

Notes on the sermon

I've got to find another hour to listen to this one again...

"This tastes like bun water!"

Every time I think about this one liner I laugh. (I don't get out much, my kids are my only source of entertainment.)

Yesterday there was a bottle of Pedialyte on the counter. Ella was recovering from the flu, for about the 100th time this school year, and had been offered some Pedialyte to drink. After one taste she decided water was the only thing she wanted. So there sat the opened, undrunk bottle on the counter. Levi, thinking it was juice, or something else great that he was missing out on, decided he wanted a glass of it to drink. I warned him that it was for kids with the flu and didn't taste like juice. He was sure I was wrong and demanded I pour him a glass. All right! So I poured him a nice tall glass. He took one sip. Then looking puzzled he tried it again and announced "This tastes like bun water." I laughed so hard (and am still laughing now a day later as I type this) I almost fell to the kitchen floor. Ella and Noah got a good giggle out of it as well.

Just to clarify - when the kids are taking a bath Levi is always slurping up dirty, soapy, bath water. Jason has repeatedly warned him not to drink tub water since you sit in it. Thus dubbing it "bun water."

So, the advertising on the bottle of Pedialyte that says, "Tastes great" is a lie.

A baby, a wedgie, and a stinky pit...

Just some random photos from the weekend...

Last night, at who knows what hour, Levi came bolting out of his room at a full run, with blanket, teddy bear, and sippy in hand, like he was headed for a sleep-over. Paige was up and about, so I thought she was in their room and had sent him to ours. Turns out I fed her a bad piece of halibut for dinner and she was in the ladies room. She emerged from the bathroom a while later to find Levi and I snuggled up in the bed. So she wandered over to his bed and slept there. And apparently her revenge was to blast me awake this morning with the camera flash. She found Levi and I just like this. Possibly a very aromatic location for Levi to snuggle into, but he didn't seem to mind...


Luke, trying out his new cart. The kid is just dying to learn how to walk so he can keep up with his siblings... or outrun them. He's working on it, but isn't there yet.


While I was doing childcare at church tonight, Levi discovered the joy of a well executed wedgie. Performed with your brother's undies, or course. Noah really was asking for it though, prancing around in just a chef's apron and his undies.

Pancakes... the solution to world peace

I made pancakes for breakfast this morning. Levi was declaring his love of pancakes as he devoured his third one...

"I love pancakes Dad! I love you too Dad!"

"When I have pancakes, I love everybody!"

"I even love Mom!"

"And I don't want to get spankin's, so I will say nice things. Cause Mom and Dad give me spankin's to teach me to obey"

(Gee, think he has heard that a few times around here?)

So apparently, all the middle east needs is... more pancakes!

Does Satan exist?

If you don't already know the answer to that question, then I am sure that 30 minutes of a Nightline debate will clear it right up for you! ;)

Video preview here

Story here

But seriously, Mark Driscoll and Annie Lobert versus Deepak Chopra and Carlton Pearson. Should be interesting. They held the debate at Mars Hill Church last week. It is edited down to 30 minutes for Nightline, so I imagine it isn't going to be too in depth. But I believe the full version is supposed to be posted online. For some pre-feedback, take a look at this from one of the Mars Hill pastors.

Thursday March 26th at 10:30pm on ABC (Phoenix time anyways, yours might be different.)

Not to rub it in or anything...

And in Gilbert, the forecast = waterslides!






Feel free to return the favor in, ohhhhhh, June. When it is hotter than the surface of the sun here...

Tuckered 'em right out though...

Congratulations Mike and Angela!

I took all of about 8 pictures while we were there. Some anecdotes...

We all went out to lunch on Friday before the wedding. We first stopped a place called 3 Bar BBQ. It had a drivethru. The collective decided we wanted to go somewhere nicer, although this place may have had excellent BBQ. So we headed to downtown Bozeman, to Ted Turner's restaurant. The collective decided it was much too high class, and that our children would disrupt the businesslike atmosphere.

So we ended up here...

The "semi-classy" may have been just right. Unfortunately, their motto was absolutely true. We had the worst waiter ever. We probably should have gone with the BBQ place...

Mike apparently was distracted by all the planning of the wedding. He apparently did not consider that with all of his roommates in town, he just might want to lock up his house and hide the key, as it would not take much convincing for us to get into mischief...

I hope you didn't have too much trouble finding all the light bulbs Mike...

Finally, a totally random photo of my better half and youngest papoose (looking literally like a papoose...)

Off to Montana

We are off to Montana tomorrow for Mike's wedding. Just Paige, Luke, and me. The older kids all get a fun filled weekend at Grandmas.

Here is the crew, "back in the day." I kind of miss the old days, back at Dordt...

Me, Joel, Todd, Mike
Paige, Mel, Jez, Andra, Shanda, Melissa


The guys, minus Eric (since he graduated the next year.) We were roommates junior and senior year, and I lived with Mike freshman and sophomore year as well.


So far, all of the guys have made it to each of our weddings

Joel and Mel were first and we all made the trip to Washington (Summer '99)


Then me and Paige in Michigan (December '99)


Then Todd and Sarah in Phoenix (Hmmmmm, '02-ish?)

Now Mike and Angela, '09. I'll have to post the picture when we get back.

Eric is the last man standing. He is going to get so much crap this weekend... (all in good fun old goat)

And one last piece of blackmail... Mike dancing with about half the bridesmaids at our wedding. Classic Mike...


Lookin' forward to seeing all the old roomies this weekend. I'm sure we will all sit around and relive the good old days like the bunch of old farts that we are... ;)