Oh... my... goodness...

Noah: [wailing at the top of his lungs]
Ella: [sitting next to him with a guilty look on here face, clutching "her" toy]
Paige: Ella, why is Noah crying? What did you do to him?
.
.
.
Ella (her exact words!): Stuck my finger in his b#tt. But he took my toy away!

How do you even respond to that? Granted, the boy wasn't wearing any pants (big surprise) and, ummmm, presented her with a target. But that will be the last time he turns his back on his big sister. They don't tell you these lovely details in the parenting books...