Welcome to 'Merica

[The following post requires reading it with a redneck hilbilly accent, in the manor of my good buddy Jonathan.]

We 'rived home on Sunday night after 20 some hours on them aero-planes. Back to 'Merica, where we cling to our guns and religion. Land of the free. Home of the brave. Country of abundant bacon!

Land where George Washington slayed the zombie hordes of evil King George!

Land where Abraham Lincoln rode grizzly bears into battle to free the slaves!

Land where Teddy Roosevelt cleared the west of sasquatch to make it safe for civilization!

(I want all three of those posters)

Land where dad flies flags on your first day in 'Merica (at least until that nasty HOA writes him up.)

Land where your brand new brother feeds you all 'Merican food like Cheetos.

Welcome to 'Merica baby girl!