EVBC does something called Hot Summer Nights, where Pastor Tom interviews people on various subjects. Tonight he talked to Tim Kimmel, author of Grace Based Parenting, among other books. Their talk was excellent. Some nuggets I managed to scribble down (may not be exact quotes, but are close, said by Kimmel unless noted.)
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I think a compliant child is harder to raise than a strong willed one. A compliant child is a follower. A strong willed child is a leader. The only problem is they want to lead you.
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Disciplines: What you wrap around your child's strengths. His analogy: A train. Extremely powerful on the tracks, but it can only go in the direction you have laid the rails. If it ever goes off the rails, it loses its power and becomes a train wreck.
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Courage: What you wrap around your child's weaknesses. He pulled out a quote from John Wayne, "Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway."
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In a discussion on illegal immigration, he pulled out a quote from Jamie Buckingham, "The problem with Christians today is that no one wants to kill them."
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We never asked our kids if they wanted to accept Jesus, because we knew they would say yes, because they loved us. It's not the parent's job to save their kids, it's God's.
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He told a story about his daughter, when she was 5 or 6. They were watching football, and he was ranting to the TV about a bad play. His daughter was watching too, and chimed in with "Awwwww, f*** it!" He said after he expelled all the air from his lungs, and called the paramedics to jumpstart his heart, his wife asked "Honey, that is an interesting word. Where did you learn it?"
"Sunday school"
He said when he relays this story, people sometimes say that is exactly the kind of kid who shouldn't be in Sunday School. His response? "Are we running a country club here, or a hospital?"
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His point, as it was in much of his talk, was are we trying to make a little enclave where our kids never get exposed to sin because of fear that they might fall, or are we trying to save lost people by showing them Jesus?
As a guy who worries that he will screw up his kids, and who is a big believer of the benefits of living "in the bubble," his talk was challenging. But I was impressed enough to buy his books, and I am not one to buy a lot of "self help" type books. Looks like I have some reading to do...
Has anyone read any of these books? Thoughts?
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1 comment:
I have the books now, but haven't read them. I also got the Homegrown Heroes one...since we are always working on courage for our kids.
You and I took almost the same notes! Seriously. I really liked the "train" one.
Wish I would have seen you there. It was packed!
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