Us... Sophomore & Junior year

Part 1

Sophomore year I lived with Mike and two more Montanans, Kurt and Kevin. I don’t remember much of Paige this year. We both lived in West Hall, and Paige tells me that I often helped her with computer issues. I remember none of this. She roomed with Andra and Maria, which means that we probably did all kinds of things together as adoptees of the Montana clique. But as much as I search my brain, I don’t have any specific memories. Obviously her reputation from freshman year had knocked her completely off my radar. Plus I am pretty sure my radar was more focused back in Arizona at the time. Or at least, that was my excuse for not bothering to even attempt to ask anyone on a date...

Kay, Andra, Paige, and Maria, sophomore roomies.


Maria, Paige, and Andra. (FYI... the overalls, the straw hat... Paige is a total cutie in this picture!)


Andra and Paige, with guns, and a Willy's jeep. It doesn't get any better than that!


Again, not a single picture of me from this year.

.......

Junior year, we moved over to the apartment style dorms on east campus. Mike and I were still roomies, along with Todd, Joel, Eric, and Greg. And the girls across the hall were many of the same ones we had hung out with the past year… Paige, Andra, Jez, Amy, Melissa, and Shanda. They were the “girls next door.” We hung out, ate together occasionally, went to movies, etc. Our doors faced each other, and were frequently open.

Thus far, Paige was like one of the guys. But at some point during the year, and I couldn’t really tell you when, she became THE “girl next door.” I had a huge crush on her. Of course, being a stereotypical engineer, total introvert, terrified of the opposite sex, socially awkward… pathologically shy… I said nothing about this to anyone, least of all Paige. My delay was unfortunate.

My roommate Todd apparently had the same idea, only he actually asked her out! Bugger! Naturally, since the grass is always greener and all… my crush now grew even bigger. Of course, I could no longer tell her, and could hardly tell my roommate I had the hots for his girlfriend. Seriously up a creek. I have a horrible memory for dates, but it seems like they were dating for years, although it was probably only a few months.

I was not a happy camper at the end of junior year. I was falling more and more for Paige. I was having no luck finding a summer summer job. I was getting a B in a class, which I am bitter about to this day. Looking back, this seems pathetic even to me, but at the time that was my whole life in turmoil. I honestly believe I gave myself an ulcer. Really. Paige, the sweet girl that she was, knew I was upset about something. So she kept asking me what was wrong, because she wanted to help. She would pester me endlessly. It was aggravating, because I couldn’t tell her what the problem was, and her concern only increased my affection for her. But I wasn’t about to violate the guy rules and hit on my roommate’s girlfriend. I remember going on late night bike rides through Sioux Center, and walking miles down a dirt road into the cornfields, just to get away from her and be by myself. I was probably (ok, ok… definitely) a total jerk and reacted by being mean. I once told her that cookies she baked tasted like dirt. She hasn’t let me forget it to this day. Guys sometimes show their affection for girls by teasing them. I think my pent up affection, combined with utter social ineptitude, turned that teasing into downright meanness. Or possibly I thought if I was mean enough, she wouldn't like me, and then I would stop pining for her.

During the last few weeks of school, my ulcer must have finally won out against my introversion. I cornered her roommate Melissa, and told her that I had a huge crush on Paige, and that it was driving me nuts, but that I couldn’t say anything to her. Word quickly spread through her other roommates (duh, how could I have thought otherwise?), and I was soon informed that Paige was breaking up with Todd that very day. Total freakish coincidence. She did indeed break up with Todd that day (sorry dude...) I believe there were shots done in our room that night, Todd for obvious reasons, and myself in secret celebration.

The day after the breakup, we were all studying for finals and had our doors open as usual, going in and out of each other’s rooms. Paige was alone at the kitchen table in their room. I figured I didn’t give myself an ulcer for nothing… so I headed over. Now recall… socially awkward and pathologically shy. I had never had a girlfriend, had gone on approximately half of a date in my life (because while I considered it a date, I am not sure the girl realized that.) Yes, I was (am?) that much of a nerd. I could do differential equations and thermodynamics in my sleep (in fact, I probably was, studying for the finals) but telling Paige I liked her… that was something I had absolutely no clue how to do.

I sat down at the table, and told her I had to tell her something. It went something like “The reason I have been upset lately is because I like you. Really like you.” I don't remember if I even gave her a chance to respond. Then I promptly bolted back for the sanctuary of my nerd-cave, and resumed studying for thermodynamics and differential equations. Brilliant interpersonal skills! Sheesh… even I feel like a total dork telling this story…

The girls next door.


Someone finally managed to capture me on film, sort of...


Hey, you can actually see my face in this one. This is everyone from our two rooms, for what appears to be Thanksgiving dinner (Correction: Actually Jez's birthday.)

Footnote: Todd and I are still good friends to this day. We've worked together, talked often, and were both at each others weddings. He found himself a lovely woman who dragged him off to Wisconsin to make babies. I don't think there are any lingering hard feelings. Guess I will find out when he reads this post...